FIRST SUNSET of the YEAR; 2012

DO I NEED A REASON

  Today when I saw you I knew it was just like the first time When you met my eyes I came close And I felt like the first time  To hold back my fear And feel you so near I’ve never been this far before To hold back my fear And feel you so near I’m scared of falling into deep this time  Do I need a reason to tell you why I’m singing you this song Do I need a reason to show you that I know where I belong Whenever I am weary I lean on This feeling that I have I am so much stronger now Thankful, yes I am  Today I’ll renounce them, The doubts and the fears I’ve been nursing I’ll fly like a moth to the flame And I’ll feel like the first time  To hold back my fear And let you come near I’ve never been this far before To hold back my fear And let you come near I’m afraid of losing and still I go

PWD XMAS PARTY 12.16.11

It's been a while since I last attended a PWD (Persons With Disability) meeting. But since I was reinstalled as the President, I have no choice. Next year will be better.

After my life literally changed 12 years ago, I noticed that the men that I attract are those who are "lost" or searching for something that will make them feel better about themselves. Because of my experience, I feel that they find "strength" and "courage" knowing that they know someone who has gone and surpassed these trials. They say I inspire. I am honored by what they all say. I truly am. But deep down inside, I feel that I just get USED. After they have "found" themselves, "regained" their confidence, they leave me and move on to someone else or go on with their present lives. Leaving me starting from scratch again.

I'm 35 years old. Single in all aspects. Sure, there are "guys" who have shown interest, a little "fling" here and there but never a "REAL" relationship. A real relationship in "accepted" terms. I am known to be "different" in my approach to these things. It has always been the case. Maybe that's why. I want NORMALCY in my life. Is that too much to ask for?

That's Just What You Are

In our endeavor
We are never seeing eye to eye
No guts to surface
So forever may we wave goodbye
And you're always telling me
That it's my turn to move
When I wonder what could make the needle jump the groove 
  I won't fall for the oldest trick in the book
So don't sit there and think
You're off of the hook
By saying there is no use changing
Cause that's just what you are
That's just what you are
Acting steady
Always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth
Did I offend your ears
By suggesting that a change might be a thing to try
It would kill you just to try and be a nicer guy
Its not like you would lose
Some critical piece
If somehow you moved point A to point B
Maintaining there is no point changing
Cause that's just what you are
That's just what you are
Now I could talk to you till I'm blue in the face
But we'd still would arrive the very same place
With you running around
And me out of the race
So maybe you're right
Nobody can take
Something older then time
And hope you could make it better
That would be a mistake
So take it just so far
Cause that's just what you are
That's just what you are
That's just what you are
Acting steady
Always ready to defend your fears
(That's just what you are)
What's the matter with the truth
Did I offend your ears
(That's just what you are)
Sleepwalking man, it's a danger to wake you
(That's just what you are)
Even when it is apparent where your actions will take you
(That's just what you are)
And that's just what you are
And that's just what you are
That's just what you are 

- Aimee Mann

ALL GOOD THINGS

All good things. (All good things.) All good things. (All good things.)  Not sure where to go, Everybody I know, Says I'm too forgiving. And now that I'm gone, I don't wanna move on, I just keep reliving.  All good things. (All good things.)  Oh I wish you, All good things. (All good things.) Come to an end. All good things. (All good things.)  Oh I wish you well.  Lost inside of my head, Empty side of the bed, I feel this place without you. I keep pushing the bruise, 'Cause I don't want to lose, What I love about you.  All good things. (All good things.) Oh I wish you, All good things. (All good things.) Come to an end. All good things. (All good things.) Oh I wish you well...  I could think of a million ways, You've proved you weren't the one. So live inside of your shades of gray, And nevermind the sunshine that I'll find.   I got so much space now, I got a whole house, With the wind blowing through. I don't need somewhere to hide, I got this whole world inside, I was accustomed to showing you.  All good things. (All good things.) Oh I wish you, All good things. (All good things.) Come to an end. All good things. (All good things.) Oh I wish you well... All good things. (All good things.) Ohhhh, ohh, ohh All good things. (All good things.) Ohh, ohh, ohh All good things. (All good things.) Oh I wish you well.

HOW I GET on the HORSE

I have been asked HOW i get on the HORSE. Here's how. I need the ledge and sunny days.

It has never been clearer. I like this system of check and balance. It puts a lot of perspective and puts me in my place.

BUTTERBEER LATTE

 

https://pinterest.com/pin/184788390930127509/

JUST AS IT SHOULD BE

Normally I would say that things were going on zoom mode but actually things are just as they should be. Which is good right?

Back On the Saddle Again

It's been exactly one year and 9 months since I last got on a horse. Boy, did I miss it. I missed it so much, that I ended up being the laugh of the day. Tita Marivic started laughing with the grooms saying that I was on for more than an hour and was wondering why I wasn't complaining yet. It just felt so good. "In my element" as someone said. Here is one pic that a friend took. Thank you dear. Thanks for stopping by too.

IT's BEEN that LONG huh?

I'm better now. I have finally gotten out of the rut. It took sometime, as usual. I was holding on to something that probably wasn't there in the first place. They all said he was NOT worth it. I should have listened. I should have listened to my gut feel which was ALWAYS right. I was just stubborn. Duro de cabeza. Thinking that NO ONE can be such an asshole or a bitch. Apparently, there are such people and a number of them yet. Yes, I was really hurt, he broke my heart, but more of disappointed. VERY DISAPPOINTED. People are NOT who they seem to be. Lost my faith in the system which I was so willing to help and promote in my own little way. Too bad for them.

Twitter makes it easier to classify people accordingly like the animal kingdom. After a while, you see who are real bitches and assholes. I met two wonderful people, yes on twitter, and actually met up with them. In doing so, that so-called cyber barricade that oh so many hide behind, was brought down to actual conversations over cups of coffee, lots of laughs and gastronomic food porn. Actual phone conversations and not just tweets or text messages.

Now, daily phone calls and lots of laughs. Just what I need.

32 Flavors

PWD National Registration Week July 2011

The KING of ANYTHING

EDGE of the OCEAN

at the edge of the ocean, I can start all over again.

INDIGO GIRLS: The State Theatre, Sydney 28 April 2011

(will continue...)

Life Unexpected: World Spins Madly On

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.

EXPOKID3 @ Rockwell Tent April 2, 2011

WAITING

THAT's ALL I NEED

All I really need is REASSURANCE.

MISSA Football Tourament

AFP ASCOM Field; 12 March 2011

IT HAPPENS ALL the TIME

It happens all the time. After ballooning to an absurd weight (OBESE) due to medical circumstances, plus the real joy of eating, I tell myself that I'll start losing weight or cut down blah blah blah. For the past 10 years, it's been a roller coaster ride. The truth is, I know for a fact, that once I start losing weight, SOMEONE special comes into my life. I must admit after one heartbreak to another, I tell myself that, I'll just stay FAT, that way they'll stay clear and away from me.

Of course, for health reasons, it's always better to exercise and eat well. In 2010, I only had one goal. To start going to the gym and shed those unwanted pounds. I haven't drastically gone far but 30 lbs in a year, it's good enough considering the physical restrictions I have. I have made it a point, BP permitting, that I hit the gym at least 2x a week. It's not enough but it's better than nothing.

So here I am, 30 lbs less. Feeling physically good, except my ankle pains that come with being hemiplegic, and more pounds to shed, SLOWLY. YES this is all just PHYSICAL. But EVERYONE knows, I am NOT just about my physical appearance. I am a very passionate person which I'm starting to believe, is my downfall too.

When you are given a second chance in life, you take things as it comes, make the MOST out of it, don't WASTE time, and SHOW your appreciation and LOVE because everything just PASSES you by. In an instant, things change, unexpected natural circumstances happen, then that chance you're given is lost. Many will say that it's just my being impatient talking. Maybe it is maybe it isn't.

35! Happy Birthday Choo

Another delightful lunch with the gang.

The Longest Week.... EVER

I didn't think that I would be in this position again. It really creeps up on you when you least expect it. Once it's there, you relish in it's absolute state, taking everything in as it's presented. Hopefully, taking it one step at a time. Because you know of the challenges ahead, makes one think... I don't to think. I don't like the feeling of uncertainty. It's black or white, nothing in between. Yes or no. But then again, you have that "could be". Patience is indeed a virtue.

"Be patient. You don't control what goes on in his life. It's difficult at times to juggle so much stuff."

What's the Matter Here

Must not live in fear.

THANK YOU for THIS JAMES

MONTEMAR 2011; New Years

Our second year in a row to spend New Years in Montemar. It was just as fun and crazy but I think my mind was miles away =) I never appreciated SMS more than ever before. My constant companion was Hanna. As always, Luis disappears with his cousins and by the time he returns, he is a shade or two darker. Hahaha. My poor baby. I didn't stuff myself crazy this trip in fact I hardly ate thinking of the year I spent slaving away in the gym.

The sunsets were beautiful and I don't know how many MMS I sent to share with J.

For entertainment there was a live band and overflowing booze that my cousins were passing around. My son had his first shot of vodka. Haha! Everyone was dancing, singing, and getting down. Bruno Mars was on loop! Hahahaa! Haha. There seemed to be more families this year. The rooms/bathrooms were renovated finally. Fun fun fun. Til next year...

CHRISTMAS 2010

theGIRLS Christmas at Monica's place.

click HERE to see more...

TIWATIW Christmas at Nikki's
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DH MVA Momma's & Kids at Lykas
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ARANETA DEC 24th LUNCH

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del ROSARIOs XMAS LUNCH

CURTAIN UP 2

SO PROUD of ALL of THEM!
Thank you Ms. Arlyn for the pictures.

Ayan yung SAGOT mo!

Diabetes is not being directly associated with problems with sense of taste and smell but as a complication there is a chance. There are also cases where impairment in taste and smell have something to do with the medications used to treat diabetes.

Source(s):

http://nodiabetes.pinurl.com

SINGAPORE 2010

Traveling has always been something that I look forward to. I mean who doesn't look forward to traveling? All I can say is that, I am amazed that my mom and I didn't get into each others nerves this time. We survived 5 days together. I guess practice makes perfect. I have found a system that works. Although I have to wake up earlier than usual, and my dear dear son was such a trooper. But what really saved us from screaming at each other was her KINDLE! Thank God for the Kindle.

I have grown to love Singapore especially because it's so green! Although there are still places that I would love to explore on my own. Maybe the "girls"can go on a trip. Next year?? Food was scrumptious. Couldn't get enough the Chicken Rice (5 lbs later) even having it for lunch at Universal Studios. We stayed at Marina Mandarin which was accessible to Marina Square (aka easy access shopping). I didn't shop at all except a Nike Sports bra for the gym. Yes... seriously. Why? Everything is soooo expensive. Most meals were at the Marina Food Court...

Spent an afternoon and dinner with cousins at the Nike store and dinner at DIN TAI FUNG. After Universal Studios we were a bit lazy to really go around. I had a wheelchair for Universal but the rest of the days were spent walking, and walking... achy feet... walking and walking. We really made use of the hotel room too by just lazing around munching on our food finds.

It was a good trip... next stop... the beach...

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BUGSLOCK Insect Repellent Band