Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I finally had my PT today after a week and a half of rest. It felt good to be stretched. Painful but good... it wasn't really the usual fun-filled PT I have, everyone was just too busy and toxic. The cubicle that I was in was right under the aircon and it was c-c-c-o-o-l-d!!Hmm.. I wonder if my bro is done with the comp...this laptop is going to die soon!!!! brb...i'm back! I had paraffin wax which is HOT so it kept at least my hands warm and asked for an extra towel to serve as a blanket...all I needed was a pillow and I would be off to lalala laand! But too many things on my mind. I was texting with a friend of mine who says that he is not too good either...when asked why? He said matters of the heart. Hmm...I wonder why....I hope all is well with him. Many times i worry about him. Many times I wonder too what would happen if...if. Hahaha. It's been a 11 year thing actually... strange but nada. Oh well. You know me, my super colorful life, as choo choo would put it....hahaha! If only one knew what i'm going through now. On a more serious side of things... I visited my lola today at the ICU. It seems like she isn't doing too well. She went into cardiac arrest for the second time already. This morning I over heard my mom and an aunt talking about having my lola have a tracheostomy, something I had when I was in a coma and have the scar to prove it. My Mama (lola) is 89 years old. She has led a full full life. She has 7 children, 14 grand children and 4 great grandchildren. I wouldn't want her to suffer anymore by having more tubes and paraphernalias attached to her that will be so uncomfortable and make her irritable. I always remember my tita Chiquita, my mom's sister, when she kept saying that she was tired. Tired from all the medications, needles, dialysis, and all. If it's God's will for a loved one to pass, I really think it would be for the best. I mean, no more pain, no more suffering. The ones who get left behind are, sorry to say selfish in a way, because they think of thier own personal gratification of having that someone there. We cannot control God's will. We just have to accept them and MOVE ON.

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