Thursday, November 10, 2005


This is the first time I write about this. Up to this day it is not sure of who started what first. My recollection of "meeting" Eric was because he posted a comment on my blog site saying that he admired me for being able to pick myself up despite all that has happened to me. That was in May 13, 2005. As always I acknowledge the comment.. Of course he has seen my blog so I checked his too. I have been seeing Eric for 4 months now. It started out as a friendly date over dinner at Dencio's for we were both craving for Sisig. Every week after that we would have dinner out and a movie sometimes. We would have lunch here at home or order take out. One time after dinner at Pazzo he kissed me. Just a quick kiss. Why I let him? Because I knew there was something. The funny thing was he came back for another kiss...just a quick one that is. The next week, he then he said that he loved me. Because of my traumatic experience with the ex, I couldn't say the same thing back even though I knew that I felt the same, still I didn't want to say it. During our chats, sms, talks on the phone, time together (wherever that could be), Eric has called me his "girlfriend" or he my "boyfriend". So I let him. But I still was not sure of what exactly "we had". There was no courting stage or anything really. Because of our situations we didn't think it was necessary to go through that whole process. Anyway, Eric and I only see each other either once a week or twice which would already be a surprise. I like it that way because we get to miss each other and "get on" with our lives. Everything has been great really. I never thought I could feel this way towards anyone again. I fell in love again. I'm over the ex for sure...finally!

The last time I saw Eric was October 24. Two days after my birthday where I had a dinner here with all my best friends. The Saturday after that we were suppose to see each other but he was down with a fever. Monday was Halloween and Tuesday night Eric calls me up saying that the "ROADTRIP" that we were suppose to go on is canceled because his dad wanted him and Dustin in Tagaytay(his parents live in Tagaytay) the rest of the week until Sunday. We were both very upset about it but what could we actually do? So despite all the arrangements we made for our sons and all we had to cancel. There will be other chances he said. Because of the internet we were still able to "get in touch" for at least 3 days. Then Friday he just says the he spent the whole morning by the pond. Ok I say. Didn't her from him anymore the rest of the day. Saturday, I ask him how he was and just checking on him and his reply was via SMS "I want some time to think -Nov 5 3:32pm". My initial response was "Oh great, I knew this was going to happen. You just broke my heart". After thinking it through, I used his same message and replied "I understand. I'm just here".

I let him be and gave until Nov 8 to finally let me know what was happening. I gave Nov 8 because that is his son's birthday and I'm sure they were going to celebrate. Nov 9, I text him again and ask what was happening...with us. I said that I wanted to call him but was scared that he would reject my call. He surprisingly replied "I will be in touch with you soon - Nov 9 6:38 am".

Because of the long weekend he had to himself in Tagaytay with his family, all souls, all saints and of course the surroundings, I knew for sure that he will miss his wife. I mean who wouldn't right? I knew that the idle time he had for himself will make him think and reminisce . Think about what?? Up to this day, I am still wondering what the hell happened. I deserve an explanation and an apology for just dismissing me like that. Everything was so abrupt. The last thing we were talking about was how I baby Luis too much. But other than that I can't think of anything else. What will I do?

I have been go on with my daily routines and all. But every idle time I get I think and wonder what Eric is thinking about. It is unfair to me.

Eric loves music and often dedicates a song to anyone... this is one song he said was for me....


I feel it, it's coming


Rain, feel it on my finger tips
Hear it on my window pane
Your love's coming down like
Rain, wash away my sorrow
Take away my pain
Your love's coming down like rain

When your lips are burning mine
And you take the time to tell me how you feel
When you listen to my words
And I know you've heard, I know it's real
Rain is what this thunder brings
For the first time I can hear my heart sing
Call me a fool but I know I'm not
I'm gonna stand out here on the mountain top
Till I feel your


When you looked into my eyes
And you said goodbye could you see my tears
When I turned the other way
Did you hear me say
I'd wait for all the dark clouds bursting in a perfect sky
You promised me when you said goodbye
That you'd return when the storm was done
And now I'll wait for the light, I'll wait for the sun
Till I feel your


Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say, never go away

Waiting is the hardest thing
[It's strange I feel like I've known you before]
I tell myself that if I believe in you
[And I want to understand you]
In the dream of you
[More and more]
With all my heart and all my soul
[When I'm with you]
That by sheer force of will
[I feel like a magical child]
I will raise you from the ground
[Everything strange]
And without a sound you'll appear
[Everything wild]
And surrender to me, to love

Rain is what the thunder brings
For the first time I can hear my heart sing
Call me a fool but I know I'm not
I'm gonna stand out here on the mountain top
Till I feel your

Rain, I feel it, it's coming

Your love's coming down like



Rain, I feel it, it's coming
Your love's coming down like


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